He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
