someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I need a beard to bite.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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