I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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