she looked like the bat from fern gully.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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