You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
