Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
