his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
The beer is more important than you right now.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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