32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Randomize
