u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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