How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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