how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
