Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
