That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
