butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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