Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm sobbing to NWA
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
