Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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