where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
