Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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