I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
