I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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