i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
