I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
