you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
