belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
