dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
