so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i love accidental penises.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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