If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize