wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
