Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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