I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
