problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
