it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
