So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
