you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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