I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
