this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
