OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
