why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
