I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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