Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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