I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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