DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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