Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
