i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
