There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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