I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
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