the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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