She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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