i think my mom watched the whole time
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
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