you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
