please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize