i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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