Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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