So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
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