Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
