Don't you send me to vm
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
