the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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