I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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