its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
now i know why i became what i already was.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
