if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize