I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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