My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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