dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
i know! what is this dateline?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.