Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I want to be your penis for a week.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today