Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(905): View more from Ontario

It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner

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(919): View more from North Carolina

They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.

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(708): View more from Illinois

Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(734): View more from Michigan

He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.

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(510): View more from California

I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...

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(775): View more from Nevada

True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.

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(416): View more from Toronto

The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.

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