God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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